The Mythic Goal Weight

21Jul08

Dear Internet,

Lately, I keep denying myself sugary treats and saying “Well, when I reach my goal weight.”

I need to think about that.

First off, what’s my goal weight?

I have two goals. My first goal is 140. That’s my “reasonable” goal – the one that should be very reachable, is healthy for my frame/height. Depending on how easy that is to reach (am I stuck at five pounds away for more than two weeks?), my next goal weight is 125, which may not be reachable since I intend to keep working out, and muscle weight shouldn’t be ignored. I suppose a more reasonable way of phrasing the goal would be that I want to fit into size 10 pants again. In my head, that’s around the 125 goal for me.

Right now, I’m in weight loss mode.

Weight loss is induced by burning more calories than I consume. (I say “calories” but in my head it’s “stuff” – fat, carbs, calories, etc.)

After I hit my goal (whichever I deem to be the weight I want to “be”), I intend to allow myself more leeway when it comes to what I eat.

But I do not intend to go back to my old way of living. I don’t. Not only do I not want to weigh 175 ever again, but the food here in “Ninja on a Diet” land is hella tasty. Who knew the burst of a tomato in a wrap could be so glorious? Certainly not me, in my sugar-coma.

But if I want to have a shake on the weekends with my family, I will. I won’t do it every weekend (that rapidly turns into only two a week. and then three. and then what’s the harm in another bite of cake? and suddenly I’m pretending to be surprised when the needle on my scale starts climbing) but I’ll enjoy some of the things I used to enjoy without feeling like the odd man out, or as though I’m denying myself.

A great thing would be if I tried a Starbucks and had to give it away because it was too sweet. How’s THAT for a goal? I want to train myself to enjoy flavors, and if my old loves suddenly become unpleasant to me, that’s even better.

But I can’t keep saying “When I reach my goal weight” because then what I’m doing is setting myself up. I’m building a mental list of the things I plan on doing then. And I need to stop it.

Yes, when I reach my goal weight, I may decide to accept the offer to get some ice cream.

But I may not. I can’t, not every time it comes up. Instead, I need to just say “no, I’m cutting back” instead of pinning my hopes on some future time that may or may not arrive soon. It’s a myth. Like trying to catch the north wind. I need to treat it that way, otherwise I’m going to start feeling chafed and confined, waiting desperately for that day when I can finally let my hair down.

The day I hit my goal weight doesn’t indicate a huge change in my life. It can’t, or I’m going to find myself right back here.

I need a goal, so I have something to strive towards, to achieve.

I don’t need a goal as an incentive not to snack or eat sugary foods. That’s more than bad, that’s undermining my whole intent.

I will stop saying “When I reach my goal weight” every time someone offers me a treat or a snack. That’s my task this week.

Wish me luck!

~The Dieting Ninja

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2 Responses to “The Mythic Goal Weight”

  1. You now officially lead back to your blog. Don’t you feel special? LOL

    Nice post – it’s so true. I’m trying to process some thoughts to be coherent so I’ll comment more later!

  2. @Gemfit

    Horray! *grins* As do you! (lead back to your blog that is. I’m sure you feel equally special. *grins*)

    And coherency is totally not a requirement on my blog. I’m wanted in at least five states for rambling, incoherent replies to blog posts. *winks*


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