On The Passing Of Gas

21Aug08

Update first. It’s a bait and switch technique, I draw you in with my clever titles and then make you wait before you get the payoff.

Oh yes, I am that evil.

Right, so update. I keep randomly thinking “Oh! I should add that to my ninja blog!” throughout the day and then forgetting. I need a psychic PDA, please. I can just think really hard at my pocket and it’ll make the note for me.

Man, it’d suck if I thought really hard at the pocket with my car keys instead. I’d get speeding tickets from Northern Canada.

I do have a few updates and randomness.

My knee seems to be doing better. The pain on every step is gone (thank goodness!) but it still feels tight and odd from time to time. I’m being haved and just doing elliptical, yoga, weights, and :08 workouts. Honest.

No weight loss since last I posted about weight loss, but I feel good and I KNOW I’m toning and stretching. That’s good enough for me. When my workouts stop feeling like I’m getting something out of them AND my weight loss stops, that’s when I’ll worry.

Besides, I can’t afford a new wardrobe yet. The skirt I’m wearing today is drifting dangerously downward as it is. The world does not need to see my valentine-heart thong. On a side-note, I highly recommend thongs to anyone who isn’t already prone to yeast infections. The trick is to pick a size that fits, and to buy the thinnest and stretchiest butt-bit you can find. Too many people find wide, cotton straps for the butt-bit, and complain that it feels like they have a wedgie. Of course it feels like a wedgie, you bought a wedgie with a waist strap. Buying something stretchy and thinner will make it feel less obvious.

What was I talking about? Oh, right. Weight loss.

Regardless, I got a compliment this morning from a co-worker. He’s a friend, and someone who works out (four miles every morning! And he’s an early-bird, like me). He said I was wasting away, jokingly, then told me I looked great and asked what I was doing. Very very nice. My first unsolicited compliment! *cherishes*

Speaking of this morning, I got my Oiselle Comment Bra today! (The Iris Sport Top, in black). I can’t wait to try it this afternoon! Perfect timing, as always, MizFit!

And speaking of afternoons, yesterday, my husband decided we should do TWO of the kick-yo-buttocks :08 workouts. We did legs and abs.

My abs hurt less this time than they did last time (when bending down to tie my shoes was agony), and my butt hurts more than my legs at the moment. I’m half-dreading tomorrow – sometimes the real aches wait a day to give you a false sense of hope.

But it felt good, and we did the yoga afterwards, which is always awesome and stretchy.

I noted to Mr. Ninja that his posture was about ten times better than when we started the yoga, and he smiled and said his back felt much better, too. That’s awesome, he’s had a lot of back problems. Yoga for the win! I think we’ll start on the pilates dvd when he can sit with his back completely straight, which at this rate should be maybe another two weeks. I’m looking forward to it.

And THAT brings us to the title subject of this blog entry. Farts.

How DO you people at gyms do it? I mean, I’d be embarrassed to do some of these poses in front of my hubby if we weren’t on year 9 together. Because anyone who can do some of these poses and ab workouts without unintentionally breaking wind (usually loudly) must have a different diet than us.

So what’s the scoop? Do you guys let it rip and then just pretend it doesn’t happen? Or are you perfect, well-bred misses who never have to fart?

Do you have any stories about someone really letting one go?

I mean, it’s an involuntary body reaction, and with the exercises we were doing, it makes sense. But it’s embarrassing as all get out, and I can’t even imagine doing this stuff in public.

Speak up! Share your stories! Stop the silence! (ha! double-entendre there)

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8 Responses to “On The Passing Of Gas”

  1. I AM CRACKING UP AT THIS ONE.
    on all levels.

    and thankful my workouts right now (not really by choice but that’s a bitch fer a different comment) are about 20 minutes (weights) and amazingly :) I can make it thru that fartfreeeeeee.

  2. @Miz
    Well, obviously you’re not using enough weight when you do the squats, that’s all I have to say about THAT.

    *cackle*

  3. I have ibs, so there are days when it’s really bad!! My husband looks at me and i look at the cat ;) He’s a fart knocker i tell ya!!

  4. @suzanne
    *laughs* That’s so hilarious. In our household, if a cat is present, there is no shame or blame. The cat negates all.

    “Did you just say what I think you said?!”
    “Oh, it’s okay! I have a cat.”
    “Whew. Thank goodness.”

  5. 5 runjess

    HAHAHAHA! I thought I was the only one! I think I’m worst on the elliptical.

  6. 6 runjess

    Gah! It didn’t post a link to my blog. Must fix that: http://www.seejessrun.wordpress.com

  7. 7 debroby

    You could always use your cellphone to send an Utterz update to your blog. Though I’d be tempted to edit to try and edit them all into one post at the end of the day.

  8. This post and the comments were so funny. Do you eat Fiber One bars, better known to some as ‘Fart Bars.’ They are so good, but I ate 2 1/2 bars in a 12 hour period and then went on a five mile hike in the Sierras. Let’s just say, I’m glad it was in a place called the Desolation Wilderness.


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