Reasons You’re not Losing Weight – an Addition

23Aug08

Twiddling around in my feed reader, checking out the recommended feeds, I stumbled across LargeMarshmallow’s blog.

And I read this article.

And I agree with most of her rebuttals and the general feeling of outrage, I but I also feel a surprising rush of anger with regards to something she didn’t mention.

There were multiple times (but most prominently in the “if you have friends who are obese” section) where it indicates that you should force your lifestyle choices on your friends.

Now, I’m not going to argue that it’s a good thing to go for a walk, or go to the gym.

HOWEVER. You absolutely can and should not push your life decisions on someone else.

No, I don’t care how overweight they are, or how concerned you are for their health because they are obese.

Do NOT try to “subtly” hint that you can go for walks, or maybe jog somewhere, or any of that crap.

Don’t do it. Just…don’t. If they do not make the decision for themselves, they won’t stick to it, and I can pretty much guarantee you’re going to severely hurt their feelings by suggesting it.

You shouldn’t have to hide your own weight loss goals from them (says me, Mrs. Hypocrite), but you should never try and push anything on them.

I don’t care if the argument is that they’re not happy, and you know they’d feel better if they lost weight. I do not care. It’s their decision, same as it was your decision.

If you have obese friends, and you know that meeting them for coffee or food-related socialization is one of your downfalls, you probably will have to tell them that you’re trying to lose weight. However, you shouldn’t replace those meetings with something that they don’t want to do.

You can go out to eat, and just pick something healthy. You can go over to each other’s homes and control your food or just not hang out during mealtimes. You can meet at bookstores, or go shopping, or a million different activities that aren’t a way for you to tell them that you think they’re fat and need to do something about it.

You can walk on your own, or go to the gym on your own. If they WANT to join you, that’s fabulous. You’ll have a diet buddy. But if they don’t want to, that’s their right as a human being. Respect that, and respect them enough to let them know that you’re their friend regardless of their weight. Not because of it, not in spite of it.

And MEAN it.

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3 Responses to “Reasons You’re not Losing Weight – an Addition”

  1. I’m glad that you brought this up – this is something that I too, feel a great deal of outrage for, and if I had started writing about it in that post, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself!

  2. amen

    FOR ANY LIFE DECISION IMO…

  3. “Don’t do it. Just…don’t. If they do not make the decision for themselves, they won’t stick to it, and I can pretty much guarantee you’re going to severely hurt their feelings by suggesting it.”

    AMEN to that!

    Until I was ready to get on the fitness train, nothing my fitness-fanatic friends could do would get me there and I got pissed off majorly. Similarly, until another friend is ready to eat healthier, nothing I can say will get here there. I’m there WHEN she is ready and if she asks for help, I’m there in a NY-minute.

    Until then, it’s her choice.

    GREAT post


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